(Lov) // "Will you Merry Christmas me?"

For most people, the month of December is an extra enjoyable time; each day leading up to the joyous and wonderful day of Christmas.  But for my husband (who is probably the happiest and most even tempered person I know), this time of year tends to make him uncharacteristically withdrawn, stressed, and dare I say "scrooge- like".  It is understandable.  After all, he comes from a gigantic and divided family with past experiences that have left him feeling that the holidays are nothing more than obligations, expectations, and pretense.

This is especially difficult for me since some of my best experiences and memories are rooted in this time... particularly Christmas. Even though my own feelings and thoughts on the why and how to celebrate this holiday have changed over the years, it's still a special day that I very much want to share and enjoy with my new family.

After having a very strange and obligatory Christmas at my father's house last year (it was Lydia's first), I vowed in the car on our way home that next year... this day will be spent with just US in OUR home creating our own traditions. There would be no getting up at the crack of dawn to head to my father's house... wishing we were still in our pajamas, opening presents, and watching our little girl play with tissue paper in our bed. No eating a hugely inappropriate meal at 11am (that included a ham, turkey, AND a crown roast).  No breakers constantly being tripped because the life sized glowing manger scene in the front yard is sucking up all the electricity. No feeling resentful, uncomfortable, and out of place.

As December drew closer, I began to get super excited about beginning all things festive!  My husband...not so much. We had what ended up being a pretty great conversation the other night about it all ... what our childhood Christmases were like, the best gifts we ever received (I even cried a little when sharing mine), how we found out that Santa wasn't real (For Brendan, a pretty awful experience), and how we wanted to spend it this year.  We finally came to the conclusion that it was difficult for Brendan to get excited about Christmas because he had never experienced it's fun, joy, and magic.  Then I had an idea: "Will you Merry Christmas me?" - a project to "de-Scrooge" my husband.

During the month of December I am going to do something special for him and our family each day that is related to Christmas in hopes that, like Scrooge, he begins to feel some tenderness and depth of feeling towards this holiday. Some days will be simple while other's will be extra special... every day's "something" being documented on this blog. He seems genuinely excited to see what all I have planned (I think I heard him whistling a Christmas song today) and I'm bursting at the seems to get started!

Until tomorrow...God bless us, everyone!

(Lov)e,

-k.