The 1611 KJB defines joy as " a delight of the mind, from the consideration of the present or assured approaching possession of good." In other words, joy is the expression of a life lived in the present... being thankful and knowing that we are loved, having an assurance that our hope and desires will be fulfilled. I'll be the first to admit that joy is not one of my defining qualities.
By nature I would describe myself as a serious and self-absorbed introvert... often getting trapped in my own self conscience and bogged down by my feelings. I am a paradox; wanting to fully know myself and yet, desiring to be fully liberated from myself. For as long as I can remember, there has been this ever present tension inside of me between wanting to be self aware and desiring to become self transcendent. The only times I would say that I experience joy "naturally" are during times of creativity and parenting. It is during those moments that I am fully present, most "myself", and yet moving beyond all that I know myself to be and into who I know I am in Christ.
To the contrary, I would describe my husband as a practical and optimistic extrovert... fully engaged in the moment. He lives very externally; always in search of the next stimulating and exciting experience, pursuing everything in his life with cheerfulness and joy. He is bold, vivacious, and self confident... a natural performer. Unlike myself, he has a extreme disconnect from his emotional life and his "thinking" is stimulated by activity. His only downfalls are his lack of focus and a propensity towards laziness when he sees that his actions will not gain him instant personal gratification. And yet, even when he's scattered and lazy...the man is still full of joy.
We are a prime example of "opposites attract". He helps to pull me out and engage with the world, encouraging me to be in the moment while I help him to stay focus on what he really wants and what our family needs. When we are at out best, we act as a balancing force for one another. When we are at our worst, we act as a stumbling block in the road of each other's happiness. We think so differently, react so differently and find pleasure in such very different ways that is can often be a struggle. But what makes our relationship work when it seem like it should not is that our marriage is built upon the foundation of Jesus Christ.
Mutual belief, faith, and trust in God as well as an understanding that His word is our final authority is what will keep us from becoming another divorce statistic. With all the ways in which we are so different, it would be easy for us to grow apart, become resentful, seek our own, and not be fully invested in the partnership we chose to form if not for the common ground of our wonderful Saviour. The Bible settles all of our conflicts. Prayer softens hearts that get hard toward one another. And the "joy of the Lord" is the strength of our marriage when we as individuals are weak.
Joy comes easily for Brendan and I have often found myself envious of his "easy-going" personality. Though it may not be "in my nature" to tap into joy and let it flow out of my heart easily... it IS in the nature of the God who "loves me and gave himself for me". And just like my husband... because I am saved, sealed, and constrained by the love of Christ... access to that joy is always available and ready to overflow my cup. The way in which I gain that access is by choosing to focus my mind on what has been done for me in Christ...to glory not in my flesh (indulging in my feelings and imaginations) but rather glory in the Spirit by which I NOW LIVE.
The greatest gift I can give my husband is to be a joyful wife. The greatest gift I can give to my children is to be a joyful mother. The easiest way to have a positive effect on this world, is to engage it with a smile even on those days when I am crying inside. When I deny the self indulgence that is so strong within me (even in the face of adversity, fear, and pain) and count it all joy for the sake of my Lord... I am choosing to become the stronger person that God desire for me to be. "Therefore I take please in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong." ~ II Corinthians 12:10. It is only during those times that I am made useful and am able to truly love.
This is my prayer for you and myself today: That "the God of hope fill (us) with all joy and peace in believing that (we) may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost." ~ Romans 15:13
Have a joyful day, friends!
(Lov)e,
-k.
I found you through Instagram, and thought I'd come check out your blog. I'm so glad I did! Lovely post! I see a lot of me in your description of yourself. I am very introspective, but I find my greatest joy when I lose myself in others, like when I care for my father who has Alzheimer's. I'm a burden bearer, but ironically that's where I find joy. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for reading! The fact you can find joy in caring for your father with Alzheimer's shows how Godly love produces wonderful things in our lives. I admire you, for I have known many people who have been care takers of those with this awful disease... and I know it can often be more difficult on the loved ones who bear the burden of a mind detaching from a body. I pray for your continued joy and strength!
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