(Lov) // LIFE goes on...

On Monday night it became obvious that we had lost our baby at what would have been 11 weeks. Last night the process was completed along with tears, hugs, and an overwhelming feeling of gratitude. We are grateful that God is in control. We are grateful that we have each other. We are grateful that God has given us a little smiling and dancing miracle that is our beautiful daughter. With all of the things that can go wrong, it really is a miracle when a health baby comes into this world... and not only lives but grows and thrives in a place where death is always looming.    

I looked at Lydia with new eyes on Tuesday. "Mama sad?"  she said when she found me crying in the bathroom. "Yes baby, Mama is sad. But it's ok to be sad sometimes. Mommy and Daddy lost something that we loved, but we are so happy that we have you... we love you so very much."  "Oh Mama. Baby loves you SO much." She wanted to be by my side all day... constantly checking on me, giving me extra hugs, kisses, and snuggles as I waited for it to all be over. I don't think words can express or contain how much I love my daughter. If anything, this experience has helped me love and appreciate her in a new and profound way... which I didn't think was possible.

It is a sad day... but alas, LIFE does go on. Even this "little life that never was" will go on...returning back to the light from which it came. And even in my sadness, I KNOW that God's grace and provision are perfect. I have felt a peace and strength about what was happening from the very beginning... a comfort that can only come from "the God of ALL comfort". I trust His ways... I trust His timing... and I trust that His love will never leave me.

Do me a favor would you? Hug your children a little tighter today and remember that their life truly is a miracle... and thank the Lord for letting you hold one in your arms.

Thank you for your love, support, and prayers. We appreciate it so very, very much.

(Lov)e,

-k.