(Ed) // THE GRACE LIFE >> f a i t h.

I vividly remember going to an AA meeting when I was 19 or 20 and listening to an "old timer" talk about his first meeting when he was just about my age. He said:

"I was hopeless and broken and wanted so much to be better. I didn't think I could talk, so I just listened. Everyone kept talking about needing to have faith in a higher power and I remember looking at a giant Oak tree outside the window. That tree seems to be doing better than me so I'm going to place my faith in it. I'm going to think about how big and old it is.  I'm going to think about how strong and deep it's roots go.  I'm going to have faith that I can be like that tree. I was feeling pretty damn good about my tree all week and was excited to attend another meeting.  When I got there, everyone was talking about the awful storm that had rolled through the night before and all the damage that it had caused. I sat down in the same spot as last time next to the window. And I'll be damned if I didn't see a work crew out there cutting down what remained of my tree. A women leaned over and said, 'Isn't it a shame?  It got struck by lightning and destroyed the roof of the building next door.'  'I'll say it's a shame... I chose that tree to be my higher power last week!' I groaned. 'Oh honey,' she laughed 'you should only put your faith in things that can't be destroyed. Only faith in God will get you through.' She was right.  And I've been sober for 32 years because I put my faith in The One who died on a tree... The One who rose from the dead to never be destroyed."

As powerful as that story was, it still took ME about five more years before I personally placed my faith in Jesus Christ. After years of trying to find my own way I had to realize that the road of self discovery (faith in myself) was only taking me to places I never wanted to go. The day I realized I was lost was the day I recognized my sinfulness, my need for a Savior, and accept God's gift of Christ as my only means of redemption. The day I changed the object of my faith from me to HIM was the day that I got saved. Over time, I began to trust the Bible as my authority and guide and my faith in God began to grow and mature, for Faith comes by hearing the word of God (Romans 10:17). I began to walk with confidence that Jesus Christ (the WORD of GOD) was the only reliable thing in which I could place my faith. 

Faith is defined for us in the book of Hebrews:

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." ~ Hebrews 11:1

This particular chapter is known as "The Hall of Faith" as it proceeds to give accounts of the most faithful men and women of the Bible. For example, God told Noah to build an ark because He was going to bring a massive flood. Noah took God at His word and built the ark. God told Abraham to go out to a place that he would receive as an inheritance. Abraham took God at His word, left his familiar surroundings, and he went to where he was told to go. God indicated to Sarah, who was long past the age of childbearing, that she would conceive a son. The Scripture states: “She considered Him faithful who had promised.” She took God at His word. Regardless of circumstances, despite arguments of logic and reason, and regardless of how he or she felt, each person mentioned in Hebrews 11 believed God and His word and chose to be obedient.

In regards to equanimity, it is faith (believing God's word) that allows a person to WALK with wisdom, conviction and confidence when we encounter challenges, crisis or conflict. 

Like the story I shared above, placing our faith in the wrong things is useless and vain (1 Corinthians 15:17). The right thing in which we should place our faith is always what God provides as the object of faith. So if faith is a matter of taking God at His word, it is upon that word that our faith is to be established.   

What God says about His Word:

“Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words shall not pass away.” ~ Matthew 24:35

"Being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God, which liveth and abideth for ever." ~ 1 Peter 1:23

"The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: but the word of our God shall stand for ever."~ Isaiah 40:8

These verses indicate that life is perpetual change, and yet God’s Word remains constant. His truth never changes and it is by that truth we walk into eternal life. Even though heaven and earth will pass away, God’s Word will remain. This means that no matter how we may feel or what we experience, we can confidently choose to depend on the Word of God as the unchanging reality of our lives.

God’s Word is:

• truer than anything I feel 
• truer than anything I experience 
• truer than any circumstance I will ever face
• truer than anything in the world

I have shared with you many times how deeply I struggle with my feelings. It is only by stepping outside of myself and putting my faith in God that I am able to overcome the destructive nature of negative emotions. With each 'leap of faith" I find I am moving closer to equanimity.  

An illustration of Faith:

"One night a house caught fire and a young boy was forced to flee to the roof. The father stood on the ground below with outstretched arms, calling to his son, "Jump! I'll catch you." He knew the boy had to jump to save his life. All the boy could see, however, was flame, smoke, and blackness. As can be imagined, he was afraid to leave the roof. His father kept yelling: "Jump! I will catch you." But the boy protested, "Daddy, I can't see you." The father replied, "But I can see you and that's all that matters." The boy jumped, because he trusted his father."  ~  Donner Atwood.

Mind renewing truth: "Faith in Christ enables us to face life or meet death, not because we can see, but with the certainty that we are seen; not that we know all the answers, but that we are known by The One who does."

(Lov)e,

-k. 

(Lov) // Happy to Meet You

I have wanted to write this blog post since Sunday night but was unfortunately unable until now due to an awful stomach... something (throwing up for 2 days) and the ever mounting pile of real world responsibilities that begins to manifest when your are out of commission for a while.  Alas, I am feeling much better.  And no, I'm not pregnant.

But this post does have to do with babies... one in particular.  On July 29th my dear friend Sam gave birth to her second child (a baby girl) almost exactly a month early; induced due to low amniotic fluid level. Jessie Mae Cecil came into the world weighing 5lbs. 10ozs. and measured 19 3/4" long.  Considered preterm, she spent her first month in the NICU trying to overcome her underdeveloped challenges. In an email to update her friends and family Sam wrote:

"Of course this is the very last thing I could have expected to happen and like a nightmare that I can't get out of.  But, she is beautiful and so cute and she is trying as hard as she can.  I know that God has a plan according to His will and purposes and it's not about what I want or when and how I want it.  I know that I have no control over this but being able to rest in the peace of knowing that God is in control is what is helping me through this.  I don't ask 'why' has this happened, I just trust that He knows what He's doing and that He won't give us anything we can't handle."

The most remarkable thing about Sam (besides the fact of her obvious beauty) is how deeply she loves and trust's God's will for her life.  Her faith is real... it's big... and it has always shown bright in the face of the many hardships she has dealt with since I have know her.  It is only because Sam completely trusts that Jesus Christ died for her sins and was buried and raised for her justification that she can walk with such confidence in spite of the most difficult of circumstances.  Her faith has nothing to do with her... and everything to do with Jesus Christ. She knows she is not worthy yet she is loved by God for Christ's sake.  She knows she has been saved by grace and she extends that grace to everything she encounters.  And though she didn't know it when Jessie was first born, more challenging news was on it's way.  Again, in Sam's own words:

"The other news I have is still a little hard for us to comprehend, but, we love her just the same and at this point, just want her home. Up until Monday of this week we have been awaiting the results of Jessie's chromosome test. She was showing some features and symptoms and we got the confirmation that our girl does in fact, have Downs Syndrome. We were shocked, still don't understand this but, we have accepted it and look forward to what she has to teach us. We will get some in depth details later on when we can speak with the geneticist and she can tell us more about this. Right now we have an excellent social worker helping us and getting us community out-reach programs info.

Without a doubt, I can see now how God was preparing my heart for this through the job I've had for the last year and a half as a T.A. in Special Ed. I had a student with Downs all last year that I worked closely with and learned so much from, as well as the kids I worked with before in my first job at  Travis High School.
 
We think that Jessie is and will remain the prettiest girl and she is already proving to be a high functioning Downs baby with her speedy ability to learn how to organize her feeding coordination. Breathing, sucking and swallowing are the challenge for any new baby learning to feed and she has caught on very quickly with the help of her speech therapist working with her on body and mouth positioning. The nurses are very impressed with her, she does try hard, she just gets tired very easily. The nurses love her because she never gives them any problems, she hardly ever cries. She is very sweet and calm, very cute, she smiles and is so cuddly."    

The prettiest girl indeed!  I had the pleasure of meeting Miss Jessie Mae for the first time this past Sunday when Sam and her husband Dennis had a party for friends and family to welcome home their baby girl. 

It was a wonderful time... a true celebration for a very loved and precious life. Jessie spent the afternoon in the arms of friends and family...sleeping, eating, and taking in all the excitement that was buzzing around her.  I watched as my Lydia tried to keep up with all the older kids that were in attendance and dreamed about the day when she and Jessie would play and become friends. It was while sitting with Sam and Jessie when I imagined our daughters holding hands as they whisper secrets to one another the way little girls are want to do.  And then I slowly placed her hand into mine... Oh the joy that filled my heart. 

I am in awe of how God works his wonders.  I am joyful for his unexpected gifts.  I am grateful to have faithful and loving friends.  And I am happy to meet you, Miss Jessie Mae Cecil!

(Lov)e, 

-k.

UPDATE:  After reading this blog, Sam sent me a lovely thank you note along with a link to another blog that had been recommended to her via a social worker.  Enjoying the Small Things is a Blog by Kelle Hampton... a mother to a little girl who also has Down Syndrome. Unbeknownst to Sam, I had actually began reading this blog while pregnant with Lydia. Her story is amazing and the work that she is doing is inspiring.  She started the ONEder Fund, an organization dedicated to spreading awareness and creating more opportunities for those with Downs.  Please take a moment and watch this video....

I donated this evening in honor of Jessie Mae.  If you find it in your heart to do so, I encourage you to give what you can.  Thank you!