(Ed) // THE GRACE LIFE >> j o y.

The 1611 KJB defines joy as " a delight of the mind, from the consideration of the present or assured approaching possession of good." In other words, joy is the expression of a life lived in the present... being thankful and knowing that we are loved, having an assurance that our hope and desires will be fulfilled. I'll be the first to admit that joy is not one of my defining qualities. 

By nature I would describe myself as a serious and self-absorbed introvert... often getting trapped in my own self conscience and bogged down by my feelings. I am a paradox; wanting to fully know myself and yet, desiring to be fully liberated from myself. For as long as I can remember, there has been this ever present tension inside of me between wanting to be self aware and desiring to become self transcendent. The only times I would say that I experience joy "naturally" are during times of creativity and parenting. It is during those moments that I am fully present, most "myself", and yet moving beyond all that I know myself to be and into who I know I am in Christ.   

To the contrary, I would describe my husband as a practical and optimistic extrovert...  fully engaged in the moment. He lives very externally; always in search of the next stimulating and exciting experience, pursuing everything in his life with cheerfulness and joy. He is bold, vivacious, and self confident... a natural performer. Unlike myself, he has a extreme disconnect from his emotional life and his "thinking" is stimulated by activity. His only downfalls are his lack of focus and a propensity towards laziness when he sees that his actions will not gain him instant personal gratification. And yet, even when he's scattered and lazy...the man is still full of joy. 

We are a prime example of "opposites attract".  He helps to pull me out and engage with the world, encouraging me to be in the moment while I help him to stay focus on what he really wants and what our family needs.  When we are at out best, we act as a balancing force for one another.  When we are at our worst, we act as a stumbling block in the road of each other's happiness. We think so differently, react so differently and find pleasure in such very different ways that is can often be a struggle.  But what makes our relationship work when it seem like it should not is that our marriage is built upon the foundation of Jesus Christ. 

Mutual belief, faith, and trust in God as well as an understanding that His word is our final authority is what will keep us from becoming another divorce statistic. With all the ways in which we are so different, it would be easy for us to grow apart, become resentful, seek our own, and not be fully invested in the partnership we chose to form if not for the common ground of our wonderful Saviour. The Bible settles all of our conflicts.  Prayer softens hearts that get hard toward one another. And the "joy of the Lord" is the strength of our marriage when we as individuals are weak. 

Joy comes easily for Brendan and I have often found myself envious of his "easy-going" personality. Though it may not be "in my nature" to tap into joy and let it flow out of my heart easily... it IS in the nature of the God who "loves me and gave himself for me".  And just like my husband... because I am saved, sealed, and constrained by the love of Christ... access to that joy is always available and ready to overflow my cup.  The way in which I gain that access is by choosing to focus my mind on what has been done for me in Christ...to glory not in my flesh (indulging in my feelings and imaginations) but rather glory in the Spirit by which I NOW LIVE.  

The greatest gift I can give my husband is to be a joyful wife.  The greatest gift I can give to my children is to be a joyful mother.  The easiest way to have a positive effect on this world,  is to engage it with a smile even on those days when I am crying inside. When I deny the self indulgence that is so strong within me (even in the face of adversity, fear, and pain) and count it all joy for the sake of my Lord... I am choosing to become the stronger person that God desire for me to be. "Therefore I take please in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong." ~ II Corinthians 12:10.  It is only during those times that I am made useful and am able to truly love.  

This is my prayer for you and myself today: That "the God of hope fill (us) with all joy and peace in believing that (we) may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost." ~ Romans 15:13

Have a joyful day, friends! 

(Lov)e,

-k. 

(Lov) // It is well...

source

It has taken me a bit longer this time to fully wrap my head around the fact that I am pregnant. Brendan and I had given ourselves this summer as a deadline for conception and I was honestly feeling like it wasn't going to happen. I was perfectly content envisioning our little threesome going about our lives together and was fairly indifferent about having another child. I knew Brendan wanted one... so I was willing to try. Since I was not expecting this, it has caused me (a women who is always thinking about the future) to pause and fully experience the present. I've had to swiftly make some lifestyle changes, ditch some not-so-good habits that I let creep back in after Lydia was born, and face the new found "I'm so tired I can hardly think" first trimester exhaustion with a very energetic toddler. And yet, after some time to process this wonderful news, I can now truly say... it is well with my soul.  

I've been thinking about this post from a few weeks ago in which I put forth my intentions on beginning two new series.  In light of my being newly pregnant, I can tell you it's just not meant to be. I still plan on making posts to my "The Grace Life" series, but it will not be weekly and I'm scratching the "Do Unto Myself" series altogether because I just don't have the energy. This blog is supposed to be a fun and creative outlet for me...and I just can't bare the thought of it becoming an obligation that weighs on my mind at the end of the day. Lord knows, I have enough swimming around in my head each night as it lays upon my pillow. Good things mostly... precious, tiny, life changing things. 

Lydia has been going to sleep much more quickly since we began a nightly ritual of reading "Charlotte's Web", my favorite book from when I was wee one. It only takes about one chapter, read in a soft and quiet tone, before she's sound asleep. I'm going to take advantage of this and get some much needed rest myself.  

Side note ~ My friend James over at bleubirdvintage is getting ready to bring her 4th sweet soul into the world! Please send her and her family lovely thoughts and prayers for a smooth and successful home-birthing experience. 

Good night all and may you have the sweetest of dreams.     

(Lov)e,

-k.  

(Lov) // Oh Baby!

We are thrilled to announce that we are expecting our second child! I believe I am just about 7 weeks along... which makes baby about the size of a small blueberry. It's a sweet surprise and we are absolutely over the moon (although it took me about a day to recover from the shock). While I was trying to take this picture, Lydia came over and grabbed the blueberry to shove into her mouth. I yelled, "NO, that berry is supposed to be your brother or sister!" She then looked at the berry, kissed it, and gently handed it back to me. She's going to make such a great big sister. It is still early, so your prayers for a smooth and healthy first trimester are greatly appreciated! Praise God...for He and his timing are so very, very good!

(Lov)e, 

-k.

(Ed) // THE GRACE LIFE >> amazing word.

Grace. It's one of those words that we have read and spoken so often (usually in cliche or idiom form) that it's meaning is all but lost on us. From the way our society speak of grace today you can maybe manage to  deduce a few things:  it's "amazing" and you always sing it at church,  it keeps you from being like that drunken mess you see on the side of the road in the "there but for the grace of God go I" kinda way. It's the prayer you say when you go to certain relatives homes for dinner and it's something that people believe they can lose when they "fall" or sin. Well, the world is a pretty crappy dictionary. 

Brendan and I often joke that the best thing about the "gay marriage movement" is that it shows that people still care about words and their definitions! And yet, our society is growing increasingly lazy and overly emotional with it's speech. Everything is "awesome". Everything is a "disaster". Take ME for example: "Your shoes are awesome!" Did my clients shoes really inspire awe in me when I saw them? NO. So, Why did I say that? Was the kitchen truly "a disaster" when I got home or had the dinner's dishes not been done yet? Why do I get overwhelmed so easily? The words I chose even in the small things shape my attitude, dictates my approach, and reveals the condition of my heart. 

I have been a "visual" and "sensitive" person as long as I can remember and never really thought in words. When someone would speak to me about an experience, I literally SEE a vision in my mind's eye of what the person is saying. It was usually conceptual... my mind using this imagined scenario to help me envision whatever it is they are saying so that I could better understand what they are supposedly feeling. I always gave more credit to feelings and emotions than I did words....believing that this "perception" was a superior way to establish a deeper connection with people on an emotional level. This is total bullshit. 

What I've come to understand, is that words are of  far more importance than feelings because they shape the thoughts which ultimately become our beliefs. Our feelings are simply supplemental; given to enhance and deepen our experiences in living. To be guided by feelings is a characteristic of a child, yet to be guided by what we believe, even often in spite of having feelings to the contrary, is the very character of Jesus Christ. 

The English language is a vast and beautifully detailed palette of color from which you can paint your thoughts with remarkable precision. Over my years of serious Bible study, I have grown to care dearly about words. Words mean a great deal to God...after all, they ARE the way in which He has chosen to communicate with us. Reading, studying, and sharing the words of the Bible are essential for those in Christ. We are to do this so that God  "might sanctify and cleanse (us) with the washing of water by the word" (Ephesians 5:26) which will results in "being transformed by the renewing of the mind" (Romans 12:2). Once fully engaged and completely reliant on the Bible, it begins to change our thoughts into the very WORDS of God. Our next responsibility is to then to communicate God's truth with the world... a big responsibility that I do not take lightly. Therefor, I am very deliberate about the  words I choose in my speech (and writing) because I see the gravity of their truth and accuracy.

If I cannot speak my beliefs in a way that expresses precisely what I believe or if the person I am speaking to  lacks the ability to understand the meaning of the words I am using...we are not communicating effectively and neither of us is edified. Yet, I know that each time that  I thoughtfully and confidently communicate that which I believe to be true, making sure that they are understanding with clarity exactly WHAT I am saying, the chance for those words turning into actions dramatically increase...for the both of us! If I was to remain content with perceptions and ambiguous feelings, I fear I might never have been able to establish (for myself , the world, and to God) what it is exactly that I believe...even worse, I may have never seen the importance. THERE but for the grace of God go I! (-idiom used accurately and Biblicaly).

So why IS the word GRACE important?  Grace is defined as " the free unmerited love and favor of God, the spring and source of all the benefits men receive from him." //  "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:" ~ Ephesians 2:8 

It is only by God's grace that I am able to accept the gift of Salvation through the Faith of Christ. Without Christ dying for my sins and being raised from the dead for my justification, I would not be given or able to receive such a gift. God's favor is upon HIS SON and my being in HIS SON is the only reason God's favor is upon me. I certainly don't deserve it. I am no better than any other person who has walked this earth and yet, in Christ, I am given the chance to walk in grace.  

So what does "the grace life" look like? It is one that operates under the precept that I (the old man) have been put to death on the cross with Christ and that the life I now live is not mine, but Christ living through me (Galatians 2:20).  It is a life with a heart of overflowing gratitude. It is a life of righteousness in response to the unwavering faithfulness of God. It is a life of hope that elevates the believer above the pain and corruption of this dying world. It is also a life of charity (love+truth) that gladly puts the needs of other's before it's own. It is a life given BY God which is then given TO God to be used FOR God. It is both simple and difficult...and it is the life God desires for every believer.

People who are living this life are few and far between and I by no means claim to be one of them....but I want to be one of them. The few people that I have been fortunate enough to know who ARE living in the grace they have been given... truly are amazing. They are fearless, kind, thoughtful, wise, light hearted, loving and filled with a peace that only God's word can give. They pray without ceasing, study their Bible with a passion, work hard, and are well acquainted with joy. They are "The life of Christ" being lived out in the life of "His body" here on earth. 

So here it begins...the first step taken on my journey to turn an amazing "word" into HIS amazing "life".  

Come along will you? Thank you for reading. 

(Lov)e, 

-k.